


If Not For You

by Midnightprincess



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Blow Jobs, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Time, Forced Marriage, Hurt Loki, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic, One Hundred Steps There, Orgasm, Past Rape/Non-con, Rape Recovery, Royalty, Sex, Sexual Content, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, mentions of non-con elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-16 20:24:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7283413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnightprincess/pseuds/Midnightprincess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Thor hadn't found the emerald Loki's fate would have been sealed. If not for Thor changing fate Musleen would have lost his love and his family. Even without Thor, if Loki and Musleen didn't find each other they may have both been worse off.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If Not For You

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on a possible outcome of the fic One Hundred Steps There by Icemaidenstory. If you are currently reading it I suggest you finish and then read this. If you have not read it you can read this as a one shot but a lot of the characters won't make sense unless you've read One Hundred Steps There. 
> 
> This is the link: [One Hundred Steps There](http://archiveofourown.org/works/925787/chapters/1799494)
> 
> Also, I don't know why the beginning in clumped together like that.

 

 

            Loki sat staring at nothing. It's what he usually did these days. It's not like there was much else to do. He wasn't allowed to roam without approved supervision and he didn't want anything to do with approved supervision. He wished his grandparents were here but they went back to their lands after Haewkyr's death.   
            No his murder.   
            They promised to return once they were sure the family wasn't going to declare war, but that seems to not have happened yet. Loki didn't blame them. He'd only known Haewkyr for a few centuries but his grandparents knew him his entire life. They should be allowed to grieve out of earshot of the King.   
            "Your Grace?" One his servants asked. Fekani was his name. "Do you require anything?"  
            "No," Loki said not looking at the man. He hated these servants. It's because of them he could no longer be himself in his own chambers. He has to hold his tears and disgust until late at night when they were out of the room. He put silencing charms all over his bedroom so he could scream and cry as much as he wanted without them noticing.  
            The servant left and Loki turned to see his books siting on the table next to him. He had tried reading but he couldn't seem to concentrate on anything lately. Except for his grief. He never knew how much he'd come to love his forced family until he lost them.   
            "Your Grace?" Another servant called pulling Loki from his thoughts.   
            "What is it Imytersop?" Loki asked annoyed.   
            "Crown Prince Musleen is here to see you."  
            Loki would never get used to hearing that title in front of Musleen's name. "Send him in." Imytersop bowed before leaving, only to return with Musleen.  
            "Hello Mother-Loki," Musleen greeted. "How do you fair this afternoon?"  
            "Quite well. And you my son?"   
            "Excellent. I was wondering if you would fancy a picnic in the gardens."  
            "I would."   
            That was another issue with the new servants. They were always reporting to the King. After Dorgen's death Lyrren began spending a lot of time with Loki. He said it was because Loki wasn't part of his family so it was easier to be with him. At first it bothered Loki. He didn't know Lyrren that well so he didn't feel comfortable truly expressing himself in front of him. But as time passed he began to grown fond of the boy. In a sort of older brother way. Then one day the King came storming into Loki's chambers when Lyrren was visiting. He accused them of having an affair and had Lyrren beaten and thrown in the dungeons. It took Loki three days and voluntarily riding the King for him to believe Loki when he said he had eyes for no one but the King. Since then whenever Musleen came to visit they acted overly formal as to not raise suspicion.   
            Loki and Musleen kept up polite chatter as they walked to the gardens. Under a large tree was a picnic blanket covered in food. As they were sitting Musleen brushed against Loki. That's when he said, "Make an illusion."  
            Loki quickly cast the spell. The copies of Musleen and Loki sat and began eating while Fekani looked on. The real Loki and Musleen stood and moved away so that they could not be over heard. Once out of earshot Loki began speaking.  
            "Musleen what's wrong?"  
            "Nothing, everything," Musleen sighed. He buried his face in his hands. "I don't know anymore." Loki placed a comforting hand on the man's shoulder. "Is this how you feel? Wanting to fight? To scream? To kill? And instead just having to sit there and watch it all happen?"  
            Loki gave Musleen a sympathetic look. "Yes, that's exactly how I feel."  
            "And I don't even have to sleep with him."  
            Loki grabbed Musleen's shoulders so that the man would have to look at him. "Don't do that. Don't compare our pain. They are not the same but they are equal."  
            Musleen looked like he was about to argue. Instead he leaned forward to rest his forehead on Loki's shoulder. It was an odd show in intimacy that Musleen would never have done before. But that was...before.  
            "How have you not gone mad?"   
            "I'm not sure I haven't."   
            Musleen began chuckling, then chuckling became laughing, then laughing became crying, and finally crying became sobbing. Loki quickly pulled Musleen to him. Holding him close while the prince took a moment to fall apart. While he was holding Musleen Loki suddenly began crying as well. He thought all his tears were gone but apparently not. The two men wept openly with only each other for company.   
            Loki finished first and got Musleen together. "You look like you haven't slept in ages," he commented as he wiped Musleen's cheeks.   
            "So do you," Musleen answered, fixing Loki's robes.   
Loki look away for a moment. "I haven't. Too many nightmares."  
            Now it was Musleen's turn to place a comforting hand on Loki's shoulder. "I understand I get them too." Loki shrugged, resigned to his fate. But suddenly Musleen spoke up. "Can you make me invisible remotely?"  
            "Maybe. I would have to research it. Why? Please don't tell me you plan to kill the King."  
            "No I've given up on that dream and I know about ‘No Trouble No Mischief’." Loki winced at his words. "I was actually thinking I could sneak into your chambers at night and keep you company. Maybe sing you to sleep or something. It will calm me as well."   
            Loki thought about it. About how lonely he felt at night in his prison. Maybe having someone with him would make it better. "Let me see if I can do it and then we'll talk."

 

            A week later Musleen and Loki were at dinner with Catman, Sofftia, Roaseia, Musleen’s wife Liyarna, and the King. Dinner was always a somber event these days. Not that it was ever truly cheerful, but the loss of Dorgen, Mulmyr, Lyrren, and Occtir had made it worse. This went double for Loki and Musleen who also lost Haewkyr and Daenceia respectively. Roaseia didn’t even truly smile at dinner. She was old enough now to understand what her grandfather did and its consequences. The only one actually happy was Liyarna and that was because she didn’t know any better. 

            “Liyarna, how are you fairing?” King Dimcken asked after the silence could be felt.

            “Well Your Majesty,” Liyarna said smiling. “How are you?”

            “Quite well. Have you and Musleen decided when I’ll be getting another grandchild?” After the loss of the baby the King was obsessed with children.

            Liyarna blushed and looked away while Musleen paled. “Not yet Your Majesty.” She then took Musleen’s hand and he tried not to recoil. “Me and Musleen are still getting to know each other.”

            “Nothing helps you get closer than a baby.” King Dimcken took a sip of wine and then turned to Catman. “And what of you Catman? I believe Roaseia needs a sibling. Musleen benefited from your birth greatly.”

            Sofftia paled while Catman put on the biggest, fakest smile he could muster. “Not just yet father. We don’t believe she’s ready yet.”

            “No brother!” Roaseia declared causing the King to smile good heartedly.

            “Fine my dear no brother. But what about another aunt or uncle?” King Dimcken put his hand on Loki’s thigh. Loki paled but gave him a weak smile. Loki never wanted to be pregnant again. Roaseia began chatting away about all the reasons she couldn’t have a brother so that the King’s attention was focused on her and not the pale faces around him.

            The truth was Catman and Sofftia wanted another child but were having trouble. They suspected it was due to the stress and loss they had been facing. Musleen was actually actively avoiding sleeping with Liyarna when she was fertile. He tried avoiding sleeping with her normally, but then, more so.

            Fortunately dinner ended shortly after that. Thinking of babies made the King request that Loki stay. Bidding their family good night Loki suddenly spoke.

            “Oh Musleen I almost forgot,” Loki said picking up a book from a side table. “I meant to give this back before dinner.” He handed Musleen the book who took it stoically.

            “What’s that?” King Dimcken asked sounding purely curious for once.

            “A book I borrowed from Musleen ages ago. I was looking though my collection and realized I never returned it.”

            “Thank you,” Musleen said smiling. “I was actually just looking for it.”

            Loki gave him a brief smile before being dragged into the King’s bedroom. Thankfully the King just wanted sex and quickly finished. Once the King was snoring Loki rose and moved to a side table near the fire. Hieddenyr appeared shortly after he took a seat with some sleep tea and a book Loki had never seen before.

            “It’s from Prince Musleen,” the servant said to Loki’s questioning gaze.

 

 

            When Musleen and Liyarna returned to their chambers Liyarna attacked Musleen, pulling at his robes and sticking her tongue in his mouth.

            “Come on Musleen,” Liyarna moaned reaching under his robes. “Let’s make a baby.”

            “You aren’t fertile,” Musleen said matter of factly.

            “Then let’s practice for when I am.”

            “Not tonight I have work to do.”

            Liyarna huffed. “Fine. I shall see you at breakfast then.”

            “Good night.”

            Once Liyarna was safely tucked away in her chambers Musleen went to his work room and opened Loki’s book. As he suspected it was hollow and inside was a piece of parchment and an amulet.

            _If you wear this you will be invisible._

            Putting on the amulet Musleen didn’t feel any difference. Standing he went into his bed chamber where there was a mirror. Stepping in front of the mirror he realized that he could not see himself. Taking off the amulet and hiding it Musleen wrote a quick note and placed it in another book. He then traveled the servant’s corridors to find Hieddenyr.    

            “Your Grace,” Hieddenyr greeted, bowing when Musleen came into the small room Hieddenyr waited in for the King.

            “Please give this to Loki when he’s free,” Musleen said handing Hieddenyr the book.

            “Of course Your Grace.” The “don’t let the King see” did not have to be added.

            With that Musleen returned to his chambers to go to bed. Thankful that Loki’s cries couldn’t be heard when he visited Hieddenyr. It meant that Loki wasn’t suffering to greatly, which was a small blessing.

 

 

            It was the next night that Musleen tried out the amulet. Slipping it on, he snuck out of his chambers, through the servant’s corridors, and into Loki’s room. Thankfully Loki’s servants decided to play a card game in the room near Loki’s living area so he was able to get in without much interference. Loki was there, looking pale and miserable on the bed.

            “Loki,” Musleen called quietly taking off the amulet.

            “Musleen,” Loki gasped sitting up quickly. “I didn’t think you would come so soon.”

            “I figured you may need me.”

            “There’s no need to whisper. There are silencing runes all over the room. The servants won’t come in till the morning.”

            “How convenient.” Musleen took a seat on the edge of the bed keeping a respectable distance from Loki. “So how are you?”

            Loki shrugged. “I’m fine Musleen. Nothing extra happened. I don’t need a healer.”

            “I didn’t mean physically. I meant emotionally.” Musleen carefully reached his hand out to touch Loki’s shoulder. Loki flinched away.

            “I’m sorry,” Loki said quickly, moving back.

            Musleen’s heart broke at the fearful look on Loki’s face. “I’m not my father Loki. If you don’t want me to touch you just say so. There are times after I lay with Liyarna that I don’t want to be touched, and I willingly lay with her.

            “It’s not willing if you don’t want to.”

            “Be that as it may, I’m more willing than you. And I’m able to refuse.”

            At that Loki began to cry, burying his face in his hands. Musleen moved closer and carefully pulled Loki into his arms. Giving him plenty of time to pull away. But instead Loki leaned in, being reminded of Fosxyr’s, gentle ways. At times Loki wondered how much of Fosxyr was in Musleen and Catman because he raised them or because he was their uncle.

            “How is he supposed to touch me after this?” Loki sobbed. “I have nothing to give him. Everything has been taken. He won’t want me.”

            “He will Loki, he will, if he loves you as he says he does. And you still have your heart to give. Father can’t take that from you.”

            “I don’t know if I’ll be able to satisfy him. I can’t imagine anyone else touching me. He won’t want to touch me.”

            “Yes he will. And I’m sure he will understand if you don’t want to.”

            “How can you be so sure?”

            “Well my mother was able to have an affair.” Loki winced but Musleen continued before he could comment. “Lyrren still touched Occtir. Even if it took a while.”

            Loki suddenly stopped crying and looked at Musleen in shock. “What?”

            “Oh you didn’t know? Lyrren and Occtir were dating since Occtir came of age. They couldn’t be open in front of Father though, that’s why they did so many military tours. So they could be together.” Musleen suddenly looked sad and Loki cuddled in closer to give comfort. “Dorgen supported them, as did Mulmyr. They were so happy and so in love, even after what happened when they were kidnapped.”

            “What happened?”

            Musleen sighed pulling Loki even closer. Loki went willingly. “Occtir was raped while they were being held. The final time was in front of Lyrren. They tortured Lyrren physically and emotionally by making him listen while they took turns on Occtir.”

            “I never knew. I mean I knew they were skittish after but I thought that had to do with being held.”

            “That’s what we led Father to believe.”

            “But they were able to get over it?”

            “Yes. It took some time and a lot of nightmares but eventually Occtir invited Lyrren to his bed again.”

            “How?”

            “I’m not sure. Occtir only confided so much. What I know is that they started by just sleeping together. Lyrren was there to help Occtir with the nightmares. Then Occtir let him touch him and finally they had sex. It was stop and go and there were a few setbacks, but they eventually got it because they loved each other. Just like you and Thor love each other.”

            Loki nodded. Laying down he pulled Musleen with him. “Will you stay till I fall asleep?”

            “Of course.”

 

 

            And that’s how it continued. Musleen would come at night and talk with Loki. Letting him cry and get out his deepest thoughts. Musleen also took the time to cry and let his thoughts out. Loki held him as he cried over his brother, sister-in-law, and nephews. Musleen couldn’t even speak about Daenceia until Loki petted his hair and simply said, “I miss her too.” That’s when the flood gates opened and Musleen spoke about how he felt he was betraying her memory by laying with Liyarna. Musleen considered it a triumph to get Loki to admit he blamed himself for Heawkyr’s death and felt his grandparents betrayed him. After that Musleen began writing to Lord Fallconyr to give him updates on Loki as Heawkyr once did. Soon after his first letter Lord Fallconyr invited Loki to come to his lands. The King refused him but Loki appreciated the gesture. Musleen held him while he cried about it that night.

            Musleen’s not sure when it happened. Maybe it was when Musleen got him to talk about the tea fields and Loki smiled. Or maybe it was when Loki laughed at dinner over a joke Catman made and Musleen felt jealous. Or maybe it was when he noticed Loki limping next to the King and he wanted to kill his Father. All Musleen knew was one day he was spilling his darkest thoughts about his Father to Loki and the next he was pretending he was having sex with Loki when he slept with Liyarna. After that he kept thinking about it. And it wasn’t about how Loki would feel around him. It was about the pleasure he could give Loki. As much as he hated it sex with Liyarna it felt good, at least on a physical level. But Loki had never experienced that. He never experienced how good sex could feel. Musleen wanted to give him that. The more he thought about it the more he wondered if he could breach the subject with Loki. The young man always seemed to be curious about sex not forced. He seemed curious if he could do it. Maybe Musleen could help him find out. Better him then Thor. Musleen’s musings were shattered when Hieddenyr stopped him in corridor to say six simply words.

            “The King brought up the chair.”  

 

 

            “Come darling I have something special planned tonight,” the King said leading Loki into the bedroom. Loki tried not to run. He did take a physical step back when he saw the Iron Chair in the room. “Don’t worry you’ll enjoy it this time.”

            “Please,” Loki begged trying hard not to bolt. “Please husband, I can’t.”

            “You’ll be fine. I had it modified to fit you. I realized last time that it wasn’t made for someone like you. I fixed that now.”

            The King looked so eager. Like he had done Loki a huge favor. Like he was thinking of Loki not himself. Loki wanted to throw up. “Please no, I’ll do whatever you want.”

            “Come now Loki. I grow impatient.”

            Loki didn’t bother to hide his sobs as he undressed and put on the metal small clothes. He even attempted to struggle when he was locked in. But it was of no use.

            Loki had to admit it wasn’t as bad as last time. The inserts were smaller but they didn’t go in any easier. Loki felt himself tear as the King played with the paddles. Thankfully, the King stood quickly and allowed Loki to suck him off to end the torture. Finally, King Dick finished and released Loki. Once free Loki sprung from the chair, nearly doubling over as pain exploded in his nether regions. Removing the metal under clothes Loki saw his thighs were covered in blood. Although it was excruciating to walk, Loki made his way back to the bed, surprised he didn’t pass out.

            Or maybe he did because at one point he was laying down in bed and the next someone was wiping between his legs. Loki was too drained to move but he did realize that it was Hiddenyr cleaning him and speaking quietly to the King. Loki decided he wouldn’t bother to learn what they were speaking about. It didn’t matter anyway. Nothing mattered.

 

 

            Loki was surprised to wake up in his own chambers. He was also surprised that he awoke at all. He also didn’t feel any pain. Well that was until he tried to get up. Then pain flared from his nether regions, up to his spine and stomach. It wasn’t as bad as the first time. He was just very sore, as if he was hurt in the training yard. But he was never hurt in his vagina or anus in the training yard. Tears suddenly appeared in his eyes. Not only would Thor never want him, he was sure he couldn’t sleep with Thor now.

            He never wanted to have sex again.

 

            “Brother you seem troubled,” Catman said that night at dinner. Since Loki was “sick” the King decided to dine alone, so Catman invited Musleen to dinner. Sofftia decided to give the men some privacy and had dinner with Roaseia in her room.

            “When am I not troubled?” Musleen sighed. He was itching to visit Loki and upset that he had to wait.

            “Well more troubled than usual.”

            Musleen sighed again. He wanted to tell Catman about his new found feelings but the walls were no longer secure. Still he wanted to confide in his brother, his best friend. So instead he said, “I’m worried about Loki,” hoping Catman would read him enough to figure out what he means.

            “Why?” Catman knew good and damn well why.

            “He’s been getting ‘sick’ so often and he’s been looking pale. I’m just worried it’s a lingering illness.”

            “Maybe a visit to his grandparents will help. He always seems to be better after that.”

            “Yes he does. But will Father let him go? He didn’t last time.”

            “Yes but that was so close after the execution and the…” Catman was unable to say baby. That was a tragic event for many reasons. “Maybe he would reconsider.”

            “Maybe. When Loki brings it up we will help him again.”

            “Yes. Make sure the Lord’s invite him soon.”

            Musleen looked up to see Catman smile. So the man knew he was writing to Lord

Fallconyr about Loki. He wondered what else he knew.

            After dinner he read Roseia a story at her insistence and then headed back to his chambers. He also spent an appropriate amount of time speaking to Liyarna before retiring to bed. There, he changed before slipping the amulet on and heading to Loki’s chambers. When he entered he quickly threw off the amulet and ran to Loki.

            Loki was writhing on the bed and sobbing. At first Musleen thought he was having a nightmare, but when he reached the bed he noticed that Loki was wide awake and suffering.

            “Loki! Loki! What’s wrong?” Musleen asked appearing beside the man.

            “It hurts,” Loki sobbed, biting his pillow.

            “What darling, what?” Musleen sat on the bed so that Loki could grab onto him, digging his nails into the older man’s thighs. Musleen didn’t even flinch.

            “They put...they put something on me...it hurts.”

            Musleen jumped up, heading to the bathroom, he wet a cloth and brought it back. “I’ll remove it. Just show me.”

            The level of pain must have been great because Loki quickly kicked off the covers and exposed himself. Understanding instantly Musleen began to gently wipe at Loki’s vagina and anus. Using a different side of the cloth respectively. Feeling the cool cloth on him Loki quieted.

            “Is it all gone?” Musleen asked when Loki quieted.

            “I don’t...It still feels….” Loki was getting upset.

            “Just relax. I’ll get you some more cloths. “Musleen got up and filled a bowl with warm water before returning. He then tenderly wiped at Loki until he calmed. “Better?”

            “A little.”

            “What’s wrong?”

            Loki was bright red. Musleen waited. “It’s still sore. My bruising cream. It’s in my drawer.”

            Musleen jumped up and retrieved it. “Do you want me to apply it?”

            “Please.” Loki sobbed.

            “Sh, sh, it’s alright. You’re okay.” Musleen grabbed some cream while Loki spread himself more so that Musleen would have no problem reaching him. Loki didn’t look when Musleen returned to the bed. He just reminded himself that Musleen would not hurt him. “I’m going to touch you now,” Musleen said quietly. He waited for Loki to nod before he carefully applied the cream to the outside of Loki’s anus. “Should I got inside?” Loki nodded, a single tear slipping. Musleen gently probed inside Loki’s anus before carefully entering Loki’s vagina. Musleen wanted to cry himself at how red and swollen Loki’s genitals were. He applied the cream gently, telling Loki exactly where and when he was going to touch him. When he was done Loki thanked him. “Of course. Do you need anything else?”

            “Can we….can we move to the living area? I don’t want to be in a bed anymore.”

            “Of course.” Musleen stood up then carefully lifted Loki and took him into the living area. Placing him on the couch nearest the fire. He then stoked the flames so that they grew to a proper height. He then sat on a chair next to Loki.

            They just sat there staring at the fire. Stuck in their situation. Finally Musleen asked, “What did they put on you?”

            “A new bruising cream the King created for me,” Loki answered flatly. “It burned as opposed to soothed. Now I have to go tell him how great it was.”

            Musleen turned to look at Loki who was looking back at him. “He really is a monster.”

            Loki nodded and gave a weak smile before leaning closer to Musleen. He turned back to fire but Musleen kept looking at Loki. Musleen understood why his father would be attracted to Loki but that’s where it ended. He would never harm or force a gentle creature such as Loki. He would love him and let him be himself like he would Daenceia. Thinking of Daenceia made Musleen choke on tears.

            Looking up Loki saw Musleen trying not to cry. Inherently Loki knew Musleen was thinking of Daenceia. He only cried suddenly when thinking of her. The King had ruined so many relationships, his and Thor’s, Musleen and Daenceia’s, Lyrren and Occtir, and probably hundreds more.

            Musleen looked in Loki’s eye. He saw his own pain reflected there. Without thinking Musleen leaned in. Surprisingly Loki leaned in as well. Their lips brushed twice before Loki buried his face in Musleen’s neck and sobbed.

 

 

            After that, kissing was added to their way of comforting each other. They would lay, holding each other, and share a few kisses as to not feel alone. Loki was surprised to find that he didn’t mind kissing Musleen. It wasn’t like kissing the King. Musleen was warm and inviting. Loki knew he wouldn’t be hurt by him. While Loki was suffering it was made better by Musleen.

            And then he was fertile.

 

 

            After his stillbirth Loki swore he would never get pregnant again. He learned a way to conceal his special tea so that he could drink it as needed. Musleen also invited him to tea very often. Fortunately the King kept the same level of interest in Loki as before. Unfortunately Loki’s body was reacting. He usually willed any erections away but one night he couldn’t. He spent about an hour trying to get himself off but was unsuccessful.

            And then Musleen walked in.

            “Musleen,” Loki squeaked, quickly hiding himself.

            “It’s okay,” Musleen said not coming forward. “I’ll leave or wait in the other room till you’re done.”

            “No it’s fine.” Loki scooted over so Musleen could sit down. “It will go away on its own.”

            “Loki I think you should take care of it. It will be good for you.” Loki pouted, not looking at Musleen. After a moment Musleen said, “I can help you.” Loki looked at him shocked. “I know you find yourself disgusting. So much so that you refuse to touch yourself.” Loki looked away. “But I don’t think so. I think you’re handsome and powerful and smart. And I think that nothing my father has done has changed you. And while I wish it was under different circumstances I’m so happy I’ve met you. I wouldn’t be able to survive this without you.” Loki looked back at Musleen at that. “So please let me help you. You call the shots.”

            Loki seemed to think for a bit. “Will you stop if I say?”

            “Of course.”

            “No matter what?”

            “No matter what.”

            Loki paused a moment more and then turned on his side facing Musleen. “Can you do it like this?”

            “Of course.” Musleen laid down next to Loki. He carefully reached his hand forward to touch Loki’s night shirt.

            “Stop,” Loki said the minute Musleen touched his shirt. And to his relief Musleen snatched his hand back. “Okay.” Musleen went back and pulled up the night shirt to expose Loki. He then carefully reached for Loki’s penis. Right before he touched it Loki said, “Stop.” And Musleen did. Loki nodded. Musleen gently wrapped his hand around Loki’s penis.

            Loki shut his eyes when Musleen touched him. He was ready for boney fingers. For him to be forced to respond. But Musleen’s fingers were strong and a bit calloused. And Loki was already responding. He was about half-hard when they started but quickly filled at Musleen’s touch. It felt good. It felt really good. Loki wasn’t in pain or felt humiliated, he was enjoying himself. Opening his eyes he let out a small moan.

            Musleen was in awe. Loki was perfect. He looked beautiful as he writhed and moaned. Musleen was rock hard under his night shirt but he accepted that he would get no relief tonight. But just being able to watch Loki in rapture was enough. Changing grips he finally found what worked best for Loki. Suddenly Loki tensed and came all over his stomach and Musleen’s hand. Panting Loki laid back while Musleen got a cloth and cleaned them both.

            “Are you okay?” Musleen asked after Loki still laid still after 5 minutes.

            Loki finally turned to him. “I am. Just I didn’t expect to feel good.” Musleen’s heart broke at how naive Loki was about sex through his marriage. Sure Musleen was in an unwanted marriage too, but he was not harmed by his forced coupling. “Is that what sex feels like?”

            “It feels better,” Musleen said quietly. “And I’m sure it’s even better with someone you love.”

            Loki suddenly looked sad. Musleen wanted to kick himself. Loki was finally starting to realize the good side of sex and Musleen reminded him of one of his biggest issues. Nothing was saved for Thor. And now Musleen was on the list of people who touched Loki before Thor. Musleen decided to back track. “I’m sorry that was careless. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

            “You didn’t upset me,” Loki said looking back up at Musleen. “At least not for myself.”

            “What do you mean?”

            “One day I’ll leave here and try my luck with Thor.” Musleen was about to interject that Thor will still love him but Loki raised a hand to stop him. “And even if he doesn’t want me he’ll still be there. I can still admire him from afar and hope, but you, you don’t have the same luxury. Your love is gone and you are stuck with another. Even if you divorce her you still won’t have Daenceia.”

            Musleen’s eyes filled with tears. Loki was right. Eventually Loki would be able to move on and try for his love but Daenceia was gone. Because his father killed her. Before Musleen knew it he was sobbing and Loki was pulling him into his arms. He kissed Musleen on the forehead and let him cry himself to sleep.

 

            It was slow going after that, but not as slow as Musleen expected. For the rest of Loki’s fertile time Musleen helped get him off. It wasn’t every night, some nights Loki wasn’t hard or refused to let Musleen touch him. Anytime Musleen did he had to lay beside Loki and only touch his penis. Musleen also was not touched. He didn’t mind though, he understood why Loki would be reluctant to touch another man, he also was just happy to be able to make Loki feel good. Unfortunately Musleen was only human and couldn’t completely control his body.

            Musleen was having a great dream. He knew it was a dream because he was having sex with Loki. Loki was spread under him moaning and panting as Musleen moved above him. It was great. There was no fear in Loki’s eyes. Just lust and love. Suddenly Loki began to call his name, getting louder and louder as he went.

            “Musleen,” Loki called. “Musleen, Musleen, MUSLEEN!”

            Musleen’s eyes opened wide. He saw that he was in bed with Loki, holding him close, and he was incredibly hard. His penis was right up against Loki’s bottom. Looking over he saw that Loki’s breathing was a bit quick but he didn’t seem panicked.

            “Oh Loki I’m so sorry,” Musleen said quickly moving from Loki. “I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

            Loki sat up slowly looking Musleen up and down. He then took a breath and moved forward. “I’m alright. You surprised me but you didn’t hurt me.” Loki paused and looked away. “I know that I could remove you if I wanted.”

            “No I shouldn’t have….I should be more careful.” Musleen looked like he was about to cry. He spent all this time trying to be perfect for Loki and now he had just ruined it. “I’ll go.”

            “No stay,” Loki said shooting out a hand. Musleen let Loki pull him back onto the bed and close to him. “It’s okay I’m not upset. I’m actually happy.”

            Musleen looked at Loki surprised. “You are?”

            “Yes. I didn’t panic. I wasn’t scared. I knew what was happening and realized that you weren’t the King and wouldn’t hurt me. I also realized that I could just leave.”

            “Yes you could have. But I’m not like my father Loki I would never –”

            Musleen was cut off by a kiss. “I know you aren’t. I know you didn’t mean it. And what you were doing wasn’t exactly…….unpleasant.” Musleen followed Loki’s gaze down to see that the man was half hard. “I’d like to do more actually.”

            “Of course whatever you want.” Musleen could feel himself taking interest but he pushed it back to focus on Loki.

            “I want you to fuck me.”

            Musleen blinked a few times. “What?”

            “I’m ready. I want it. I know you won’t hurt me. I know I’m safe with you. I want to feel good.”

            “Loki are you sure? You know you don’t have to. You did need to prove anything to anyone.”

            “Yes I know. I just…I want to try.”

            “Alright then.”

            With that Musleen leaned forward and kissed Loki. It was a tentative kiss. One that said Loki could pull away at any time. But instead Loki pushed forward. Musleen allowed Loki to take the lead as the younger man climbed on top and kissed him thoroughly. He also rubbed himself against Musleen relishing in the sounds Musleen was making and the effect it was having on his body. Right when Musleen thought he was going to die of the teasing Loki pulled back and pulled at Musleen’s night shirt. Musleen quickly scrambled out of it, trying to watch Loki slip his own off.

            Finally both men sat naked on the bed. Tentatively Musleen reached a hand out, giving Loki plenty of time to move away. Instead Loki held still. Gently Musleen touched Loki’s chest, letting his fingers trail down to the younger man’s nipples. Loki gasped.

            “Are you okay?” Musleen asked stilling his head.

            “Yes, please keep touching,” Loki gasped.

            Smiling Musleen leaned forward, capturing a nipple in his mouth while rolling the other between his fingers. Loki moaned and slumped. Musleen caught him and gently laid him on the bed. He then carefully climbed on top of Loki, keeping his hands working. Musleen was conscious of every noise and twitch Loki made, ready to jump off at a moment’s notice of discomfort. But Loki stayed relaxed and plaint as Musleen switched nipples.

            Loki was amazed. Everything felt so good. The King had touched him everywhere but never had it felt like this. Never had he craved touch. He almost cried with joy when Musleen began to move down his chest, gently nipping at his abs before reaching his waist. “Please,” Loki moaned and that’s all it took for his penis to be enveloped in wet heat. Loki arched off the bed as Musleen suckled gently at him. He could feel himself getting wet and he wanted it. He wanted Musleen’s cock. He wanted to feel good.

            Suddenly Loki came, bursting forth into Musleen’s waiting mouth. Musleen moaned, taking everything Loki gave. He then gently pulled off once Loki was done. Smiling down at the debauched man. His smile turned to a frown when he noticed that Loki was crying.

            “Loki are you okay?” Musleen asked, leaning up and to the side to be closer but not box Loki in.

            “I’m fine,” Loki sobbed covering his face.

            “Then why are you crying?”

            “It was just…so good. Ugh.” Loki turned over to face away from Musleen, embarrassed by his tears.

            Musleen was quiet for a moment, relieved that Loki was not harmed. He then carefully laid down behind Loki cuddling the man. “Has he never?”

            “No he has,” Loki breathed starting to calm down. “But it never felt….it was never like that.”

            “I’m sure it wasn’t. This time you wanted it.” Loki rolled over to stare into Musleen’s eyes. Musleen could see the doubt and fear in his eyes. Musleen’s heart broke all over again. Loki was so afraid of sex. So afraid of wanting it and wanting to feel good. “It’s okay that you like it.”

            Loki huffed, flattening out. “I know. I know….Thank you.”

            “Of course.”

            Loki’s eyes suddenly got wide and he sat up. “I’m so sorry. I meant to warn you that I was –”

            “Loki it’s okay. I….I liked it.” Musleen blushed.

            “Really?”

            “Yes. When it’s not forced it can be quite……pleasurable.”

            Loki looked thoughtful for a moment before looking down at Musleen’s erection. “I don’t….I don’t think I can…”

            “Loki its fine. I don’t expect that from you. I was just letting you know that I wasn’t bothered.” Loki nodded looking thoughtful again. “Would you like to continue?”

            “Yes.”

            Musleen smiled before leaning in again. He gently kissed Loki, letting the other man take it further. Eventually Loki melted again and Musleen carefully laid him down. This time Musleen’s head stayed by Loki’s but his hands traveled down. He smiled into Loki’s neck when the man spread his legs for him, no signs of fear or discomfort.

            “I’m going to touch you now,” Musleen warned.

            “You don’t have to,” Loki said a bit breathlessly. “I’m already wet.”

            Musleen leaned up to look Loki in the face. “I’m not doing it to slicken you. I’m doing it to stretch you.”

            “Stretch?”

            Musleen leaned down and kissed him. “Yes, Loki. Not to be prideful but I’m not very small. I don’t want to hurt you.”

            Loki looked confused before ducking down to see where Musleen was poking him. While the man was bigger than the King he didn’t seem dauntingly massive. “I’ll be okay.”

            “Please Loki I’d like to stretch you. I promise it will not hurt. I just don’t want to hurt you later.”

            Loki nodded and Musleen allowed his fingers to probe at the younger man’s entrance. He gathered some slick before he gently eased a finger into Loki. Loki moaned. Musleen hand’s weren’t bony or dry. They were soft and gentle. Loki felt himself open up under Musleen’s ministrations. And it felt good. If fingers felt so good Loki wondered what a penis would feel like. Just as he thought that Musleen removed his fingers, sucking them dry for good measure.

            “Are you ready?” Musleen asked taking himself in hand.

            “Yes,” Loki said strongly.

            “If you want to stop let me know.”

            “I will.” Musleen carefully lowered himself so that he was lined up. “Kiss me…while you.”

            “Of course.” Musleen lowered more to kiss Loki while he gently pushed in. Loki separated with a moan arching into Musleen. Musleen continued to move slowly though, making sure that Loki was comfortable. By the time he was fully seated both men were panting. “Are you….okay?”

            “Move..move please,” Loki begged.

            That was all Musleen needed to gently pull out and thrust back in. Loki moaned again grabbing onto Musleen. Musleen then set a gentle pace letting himself get lost in the tight heat around him. This was so much different then sleeping with Liyarna. With Liyarna he just thrusted to completion. While he made sure not to hurt her he was still trying to get the encounter over with as quickly as possible. With Loki he wanted to draw it out. He wanted to hear every moan, see every face, feel every touch, as he slowly took Loki apart. Looking at Loki’s face, open in ecstasy, Musleen felt happy and loved. Two things he hadn’t felt in a long time.

            Loki felt good. Like really good. He wanted Musleen deeper, wanted it faster, wanted to come. Loki never imagined that sex could feel this good. That he could feel this safe at the mercy of another. But he wasn’t at Musleen’s mercy. Musleen said he could stop anytime he wanted. And Loki _believed_ him. He believed with all his heart that though Musleen looked like he was having the time of his life, he would stop if Loki asked.

            But Loki didn’t want him to stop. In fact he wanted more and told Musleen as such. Smiling Musleen picked up the pace loving how Loki writhed under him. All too soon Loki felt a feeling in his groin that was becoming deliciously familiar.

            “I’m gonna…I’m gonna…come!” Loki moaned.

            “Yes…yes Loki…” Musleen moaned moved faster. “Come for me. Come for me darling.”

            With that Loki seized up and came screaming Musleen’s name. Musleen was not far behind emptying himself into Loki. Loki felt a little uncomfortable at the feeling but was too blissed out over his orgasm to care. Musleen carefully pulled out and went to the bathroom. Loki could hear water running and assumed he was getting a cloth for him.

            Sitting up Loki felt almost giddy. He had had sex. He had had sex and enjoyed. He really enjoyed it. And Musleen did to. He could do it. He could have sex with Thor. He could please Thor.

            Thor.

            Suddenly the image of him screaming Musleen’s name as he came assaulted Loki’s mind. He had sex with another man. He _enjoyed_ sex with another man. It was one thing with the King. There any response could be explained away as forced stimulation but with Musleen….with Musleen he _wanted_ it.

            It was the ultimate betrayal.

 

 

            Musleen had cleaned himself off and was now preparing a cloth of Loki. He felt unimaginably happy. He had sex with Loki. It was like a dream come true. Though Musleen didn’t believe that it meant anything and had no hopes of it ever happening again, at least he got to show Loki that sex could be pleasurable. He was so proud of Loki. Proud that Loki allowed himself to touch and be touched. He hoped that this meant the young man was on his way to recovery. All hopes of that were dashed when he walked back into the bedroom and found Loki sobbing.

            “Loki? Loki what’s wrong?” Musleen asked dropping the cloth and rushing to the bed. “Are you hurt?” Musleen reached out to touch Loki but the darker haired man jerked away. “Loki what happened?”

            “Please leave,” Loki said quietly.

            “What? Loki?”

            “Please leave.”

            “Loki I don’t…I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

            “Just leave.”

            Loki wouldn’t look at him. Wouldn’t give an explanation. Wouldn’t say anything except telling him to leave. At a loss Musleen finally gave in. “Okay I’ll go. But if you need me just say so.” Musleen waited to see if Loki would change his mind. But he didn’t and the man left.

 

 

            A month.

            It had been a month since Musleen and Loki made love and Loki was avoiding him. He refused all of Musleen’s invites to tea or lunch or breakfast. He wouldn’t talk to Musleen at dinner or even look at him. He refused to see him if the crown prince came calling. He even magically sealed his doors so that Musleen couldn’t sneak into his chambers at night. Musleen tried everything he could think of to talk to Loki. To find out what he did wrong. He sent gifts and books with secret messages in hopes of making contact. Of making amends. But everything went unanswered. It got to the point that Musleen finally confided everything in Catman. Then Catman began trying to speak to Loki or at least see him. But the queen wouldn’t have it. They both tried talking to Loki at dinner but the man only gave polite answers before turning his attention back to the King. The King, of course, didn’t even notice that his wife was ignoring his sons. He just loved the attention.

            A month.

            A month of Musleen crying himself to sleep at the loss of Loki. A month of Musleen feeling alone and watched. A month of Liyarna trying to force herself on Musleen and Musleen refusing then remembering how his father forces himself on Loki and Loki can’t refuse. This usually started a new round of tears.

            Finally after a month Musleen had had enough. There was one place Loki had no power and though Musleen hated to use it against him, desperate times call for desperate measures. Loki had confided that after the King was done with him, on a normal night, Hieddenyr would bring him a book, tea, and cakes to enjoy and make himself tired. The King had requested Loki that night so Musleen thought it was be the perfect opportunity to confront Loki.

            He knew the King didn’t last long in his old age, so after Musleen gave a polite goodnight to an annoyed Liyarna he made his way into the servant’s corridors towards the King’s chambers. Once he reached the right corridor he heard something strange. Like a muffled fight. Getting closer he saw Hieddenyr on the ground with his ears covered.

            “Hieddenyr what’s wrong?” Musleen asked kneeling down next to the man.

            Hieddenyr looked up surprised. Musleen noticed there were tears in the man’s eyes before he quickly wiped them away and stood. Bowing low he greeted Musleen and asked if he needed anything.

            “Don’t do that Hieddenyr,” Musleen protested. “What’s wrong?”

            Hieddenyr sighed and looked away. “Just listen Your Grace.”

            Musleen frowned and then listened properly to the commotion happening in the corridor. It was then that he noticed that the noise was coming from the King’s chambers. Moving closer the sounds became clearer. There was the distinct sounds of moaning, crying, and what sounded like leather meeting flesh. The King was beating Loki. The King was beating Loki while having sex with him. And there was nothing Loki could do.

            Musleen had actually made it into the bathroom before Hieddenyr was able to stop him.

            “Please Your Grace,” Hieddenyr pleaded. “You’ll just make it worse.”

            “He’s going to kill him Hieddenyr.”

            “He won’t. It may seem like he will but he won’t. I’ll be here when he’s done. I’ll attend to him.”

            “I want to be here as well.”

            “No Your Grace, please go. I’ll send word if you are needed.”

            Musleen was ready to argue. Ready to command. But he knew Hieddenyr was right. And since Loki wasn’t speaking to him maybe it would be better for Musleen to let him be. Musleen also knew that there were no better hands to be left in than Hieddenyr.

            “You’ll tell me about him?” Musleen asked.

            “I’ll send word as soon as I’m able.”

            Musleen nodded and reluctantly left.  

 

 

            Musleen got drunk that night. He got drunk and he slept with Liyarna. At first he felt bad about waking her, but after her enthusiastic response he didn’t feel bad anymore. Normally he wouldn’t have done it but he just needed to stop. Needed his brain and his body to shut off. He needed to sleep and be ready. It seemed the best way to do that was to drink and have sex.

            The next morning Musleen felt like shit but something was happening in his nether regions. Looking down he was surprised to find his penis in Liyarna’s mouth.

            “Good morning,” Liyarna said pulling off and kissing Musleen.

            “Morning,” Musleen said politely, although all he wanted to do was throw the woman off of him. “What are you doing?”

            “I thought we could continue from last night, before you have to go to work.”

            “Did any messages come for me?”

            “Someone left a letter on the nightstand when I got up.”

            Musleen instantly shot up, grabbing the letter the leaving the room. He didn’t even glance at the put out Liyarna. Once in his own room Musleen opened the letter.

 

_He’s fine. Called the healer this morning. Lots of welts and bruises but no permanent damage. He’s been told to the rest for a few days. He’s in his chambers._

 

            Burning the letter Musleen changed quickly before heading to Loki’s chambers.

 

 

            Loki was in pain. He felt sore all over. It had been a while since the King used objects in bed and it seemed like he was making up for lost time. Normally Loki would’ve stayed in bed, letting himself be pampered by Fosxyr or Wraenyr, but both men were gone. Instead he dragged himself out of bed and settled on one of his couches. The servants offered to help him with things or fetch him something but Loki refused. He just wanted to sit there and hate himself and the King.

            “Your Grace?” Imytersop called pulling Loki out of his loathing.

            “Yes.”

            “Crown Prince Musleen is here with breakfast.”

            Loki wanted to refuse. To send the man away like he’d done so many times. But he couldn’t. Not anymore. “I’ll receive him in here.”

            Imytersop nodded and went to get Musleen while Fekani bought a table in so that Loki didn’t have to leave the couch. Musleen swept in with a group of servants. They placed warm rolls, jam, smoked fish, eggs, thick bacon, and juice on the table before departing. Musleen sat opposite Loki and began putting marmalade on a roll. Loki stared at a knife on the table. Imytersop and Fekani stood by the door waiting to be called on.

            “Leave us,” Musleen commanded. The servants left with a bow. Musleen turned to Loki, “Is the room sealed?”

            “Yes,” Loki answered quietly.

            “I’ve brought bruising cream if you need it.”

            Loki’s head shot up.“You know?”

            “I have an idea.”

            Loki began to cry. Musleen jumped out of his seat and sat next to Loki on the couch. He pulled him close but was careful with his injuries. Loki went gratefully and cried into Musleen’s neck. Through the sobs Musleen heard Loki stutter out an apology.

            “Shhh its okay Loki. There is nothing to forgive.” A few minutes later Loki pulled back, wiping at his face and getting his breathing under control. “Would you like some breakfast?” Loki nodded and Musleen moved back to his seat so they could eat.

            “Before you leave,” Loki began about half way through the meal. “Could you put the bruising cream on?”

            “Of course, Loki,” Musleen smiled. He wanted to say more. He wanted to ask why Loki had shut him out. He wanted to apologize for whatever he did to upset Loki. But now didn’t seem the time.

            Suddenly Loki said, “I don’t regret it. I don’t regret any of it. But I don’t think I can do it anymore.”

            “That’s okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

            “Thank you Musleen.”

            “Anything for you Loki.”  

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Sorry for those waiting for The Beard. I just really needed to get this out. Huge thanks to [Icemaidenstory](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Icemaidenstory/pseuds/Icemaidenstory) for letting me use their work as my muse. Maybe if they like it I can do more stories.


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